


Parking Dispute

by Theningaraf



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Asshole drivers, Other, Part of a setting I'm working on but I had to get this out, Road Rage, Venom and Eddie have spent so much time together their personalities have merged, Very much an AU, based on personal experience, parking lot rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theningaraf/pseuds/Theningaraf
Summary: Venom expected a normal morning, driving in to the office.  But when someone takes Their Spot, they take revenge as only a seasoned hunter can.
Relationships: Eddie Brock & Venom Symbiote, Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote
Comments: 3
Kudos: 67





	Parking Dispute

**Author's Note:**

> So this might be a little bit out there for most Venom/Eddie works, but I don't care, because if you shared your entire mind and being with someone for almost 70 years, there'd be a bit of overlap and eventually some full-on personality merging.
> 
> Also, kind of an experiment for something else I want to work on, but that won't be out for a WHILE. Let me know what you think, I'd love to hear feedback.
> 
> EDIT: So the more experimental experiment wasn't a particularly good idea. Therefore, I have gone in and fixed it. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to comment, and please keep sending me feedback - it's the only way I know how I'm doing.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

Venom turned their head to the pickup next to them, bemused at the unexpected outburst. It was early enough that the parking lot only had a few cars in it, and Venom had been forced to park next to their favorite spot – near the doors, but off to the side enough to not be obvious about it. They had taken pains to make sure everyone knew that this was Their Spot, so they had no idea what idiot had taken it, and was now yelling at them.

They had just gotten off the 55 after an annoying but comparatively lovely morning drive and turned into the parking lot only to see that Their Spot had been _taken_. Of course, that only meant that they needed to use the next spot over and memorize the plates to figure out which of the new hires needed some Education, but it still meant a lousy start to the day. Though the thought of Education always brightened their spirits. They never knew what form it would take until they knew who needed it.

But when they opened their door, they felt a slight bump as it gently bounced off the side of the white pickup. Naturally, they brought the door in a bit, got out anyway, and inspected both for damage, which there wasn’t, because the bump could more accurately have been described as a caress than anything violent. But that’s when they noticed that the pickup’s engine was running, and then the window rolled down, and then the driver yelled at them.

“Why didn’t you go park somewhere else instead of smashing into my side here?! What are you doing? You going to just stand there, or get out of the way!”

Venom realized a few things in quick succession. Firstly, that this man could not possibly have been a new hire – he didn’t show any of the abject fear, naked excitement, or bored resignation that graced everyone who started a job here. Secondly, therefore, that he was probably an outside contractor, or a functionary, or someone that generally speaking was used to throwing their weight around and not caring where it landed. And thirdly, that Venom were certainly not helping matters by staring in perplexed fascination instead of responding. In fact, their non-reaction was making matters worse.

Without saying a word, they walked around their car to get their coat out of the back seat, because while the temperature had finally started rising they needed to keep up appearances, but that only freed the idiot to get out of his own vehicle. He bent down and searched through the salt grime on his pickup for any sign of denting or paint scrapes, even though Venom's car was _also_ white and wouldn’t have left a mark. He muttered the entire time, but they tuned him out.

But they finally had enough when they straightened up and closed their door, and he straightened up and said, “You really should have known better than to park here!”

They gave him their full attention and stopped by their car’s trunk. “And where would you have recommended?”

“Anywhere!” he said, arms flailing about his body. “There’s plenty of spaces where you could have just parked by yourself and not had to worry about bashing your hunk of junk into other people’s cars!”

Their eyes widened at the insult. “Well, sure, but shouldn’t you feel the same?”

The response was a look that was less ‘confused’ as it was ‘slow on the uptake’.

They gestured to the massive pickup. “You haven’t even washed this thing. Figured you wouldn’t care about it.”

 _That_ statement led off into a full-on tirade, describing how “this truck is worth _twenty_ of those” and insisting “it’s kept me alive more times than I can count” and may as well have included “been in my family since the time of Christ” because the bullshit all looked the same when mixed together. Venom looked up at the Ford logo on the radiator, and ‘BOWHNTZ’ stamped across the license plate, and they thought, **_Sure, kept you alive while you slaughtered deer out in the ‘wilderness’ of downstate Illinois. We wonder if he’d let us take him_ hunting _._**

But instead, when his rant wound down, they said, “You probably wouldn’t know this, but in the city, nobody really cares about love taps between cars. Especially if they don’t scratch the paint.”

The perceived sleight to his car, his livelihood, and his overreaction provoked an even bigger explosion. Venom tuned it out by popping their trunk and making rummaging motions inside. They didn’t have much to rummage with, especially since the techs cleaned it out after their last op, but the intentional nature of the gestures helped project an aura of ‘We really don’t give a shit about you’ which only worked in their favor.

Halfway through a shouted sentence, Venom projected their voice out of the trunk and got his attention. Before the pause could continue long enough that he could come down, they said, “If you’re so concerned about other people touching your car, why didn’t you park way off over there where no one else is?”

“Because I needed to get to the door when it opens!”

 ** _Ah. Well, we hope his appointment will still be waiting when he’s released. Or discharged. Whichever’s relevant._** “Uh huh. Sure thing, snowflake.”

And that was the last straw. Venom felt the man come over to them and take a swing. However, they had deliberately selected this part of the car, and also deliberately kept a hand on the outside of the trunk, so that when the idiot’s arm was in the right position, they brought the trunk lid down on that arm. Hard. They barely felt their body deforming like elastic around the descending metal– they wanted to ensure that his arm was taken out of commission.

Then, as they shoved the lid back up, they swept their other arm back, aiming for his face with the crowbar that the techs had been kind enough to leave back there. The blunt end connected with his jaw, and even though it hadn’t quite been where they were aiming, the idiot fell over like a sack of wet sand anyway. Less than two seconds, and the fight ended with them standing next to their open trunk, crowbar in hand, attacked on the ground, and the agent in charge of parking security running over, talking into her communicator.

“Ah, yes, hello Agent Ross. Were we expecting a fresh order of idiocy today, complete with two full sides of overcompensation?” They tossed the crowbar back into the trunk and shut it.

“I’m sorry, Agent Venom, I have to ask,” she said, not out of breath from the sprint she had made, “did you provoke this man into a physical confrontation?”

“The surveillance record will show that he took the first swing on Agents who were posing no threat to him. The conversation at the time was about his parking choice.”

Her look spelled incredulity. “His... parking choice?”

They flashed a smile that had a few too many teeth in it. “He took Our Spot.”

“Ah. I see.” Her eyes widened in realization, then turned inward as she listened to her earpiece. “Surveillance techs’ report matches your account of the incident, and I have your statement. All we need to do now is send a copy to your CO, and this should be fine.”

“Really? You’re going to involve her over this?” They stomped over to the groaning man on the ground, grabbed the uninjured arm, hoisted him up, and said, “Over _this_? The piece of shit isn’t worth it.”

Agent Ross didn’t bat an eyelid at her coworker’s outburst. “And while I respect your opinion on the matter, the State of Illinois does not. Someone is going to have to explain to the Secretary of State’s office what their latest liaison officer got himself up to, and we have to keep the paper trail pristine.”

Venom turned their full attention to the man hanging in their hand. **“Really?”** they said, the growl creeping into their voice as more teeth jutted out from their jaw. The Liaison Officer, now more or less mentally present again, looked into their face and started whimpering. They didn’t know why; they weren’t going to eat him. The man captivated them, they were merely trying to figure out why on earth he had been sent in that position, especially with no warnings.

As they slowly revealed their other form, their eye level rising and black creeping out of their skin and clothes, they asked, **“Have you been upsetting anyone in your home office? Annoying people you shouldn’t be?”**

Liaison Idiot only whimpered in a higher pitch, but Agent Ross said, “Officially, we can’t comment on the internal politics of other branches of government.” Venom shrugged. Obviously. “Unofficially, I’ve heard rumors that Secretary White hasn’t been impressed with our ‘rising star’ here.”

 **“Hmmm. A good lesson, then. Mind yourself, for you never know what you may be facing.”** They shook the man gently, trying to help the message sink in, and noticed that the injured arm had an extra joint. **“He may need to visit Medical before his appointment.”**

Over the sound of multiple running feet, she said, “I had a team on their way when I saw you knocked him out. Don’t worry, we’ll take full care of him.”

The medics instructed them how to lay him in the proffered stretcher, and then they took off for the building with their new charge in tow. Venom turned to Agent Ross and asked, **“Anything else?”**

“I don’t believe so. If you’ll follow me to the front desk, I’m sure the paperwork is ready for your signature.”

They followed her into the building, collapsing back down into their human form. As much of a pain in the ass it could be sometimes, they did have fun working for SHIELD.


End file.
